I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
