Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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