Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
