Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My liver is preforming stress tests.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
