epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
