i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
