erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
