You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
