My underwear smells like fireworks.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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