I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
