I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Dicks are not precious.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
