I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
