I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
