If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
