PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Randomize
