Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So much rum. So many feels.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
