You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
