worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
