im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
That's when you crack a 10am beer
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
