i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I skipped work to stalk him.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Randomize
