This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
