So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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