im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
