yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
