capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
