He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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