That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
