So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
