69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
