I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
