I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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