She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
