New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
