did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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