you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
