I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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