Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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