i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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