i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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