She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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