meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
