i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
