I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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