my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
