Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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