I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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