Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
