His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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