ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
