I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize