is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
